Things they don't tell you about motherhood

Motherhood is beautiful. No one is arguing that. The snuggles, the way your baby looks at you like you hung the moon, the milestones, the deep, primal kind of love that nothing else in life even comes close to touching — it’s magic.

But can we also admit something else?

It’s hard. Like really hard.

The truth is, there are a lot of things people don’t tell you about motherhood. Here are some things I wish someone would have told me. 

1. You don't have to be a superhero. 

We’ve created this image of the “supermom” the woman who juggles it all with a smile and no complaints.

Many of us don’t want to be superheroes. We want to be peaceful. We want to enjoy our babies without the pressure to perform or prove. We want to take care of ourselves, too, without being made to feel selfish.

2. You question yourself constantly.

Motherhood is one long string of decisions, and rarely do they come with clear answers. The self-doubt creeps in, and the mom guilt isn’t far behind. You will question everything you do.

4. You’re allowed to want more.
You can love your child and want parts of your old life back. You can be grateful and overwhelmed. You can be a present parent and still be able to enjoy alone time without feeling guilty.  These things don’t cancel each other out. They coexist. You are not ungrateful for having complex feelings.

5. It’s okay to say it’s hard.
Can we stop pretending this is easy? Can we stop brushing off the struggle as if it’s just “part of the job?" Because while there is beauty in motherhood, there is also exhaustion, resentment, grief, fear, anxiety, and emotional depletion. Naming it doesn’t take away the love. It just makes room for healing and honesty.