Here’s an unpopular opinion: I don’t want mom friends.
Not “I haven’t found the right ones.”
Not “I wish I had time.”
Not “I’m shy.”
Just... I don’t want them. And I’m not feeling guilty about that.
There’s this weird pressure once you become a mom to suddenly “build your village,” as if parenting alone is some kind of social failure.
Here’s my truth: I have enough going on. I don’t want to exchange polite small talk at the playground. I don’t want to sit in a circle of women subtly judging each other’s parenting choices while pretending we’re “supporting each other.” I don’t want to pretend to care about how someone else's toddler sleeps when mine doesn't let me pee in peace.
It’s not that I’m a loner. I have friends. they just don’t happen to be moms I met through mommy groups or the school pickup line. I like it that way. My real friendships are built on history, honesty, and shared values... not just the fact that our kids are in the same class.
Sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to be part of this wholesome motherhood sisterhood, swapping snack recipes and venting about husbands. But honestly? I’m good. I’m not looking for a group text that dings 72 times a day with “fun ideas” and judgment about screen time.
The judgment. Don't get me started on the judgment. NO THANK YOU. I'm good. I'm suuuuuper good on all that.
I’ll be over here, waving from a distance, rooting for you silently while I sit alone at the park bench reading a book or scrolling memes. I’m not cold. I’m not mean. I’m just tired and and very protective of my energy. That doesn’t make me a bad mom. If anything, it makes me more sane.
So, if you’re another mom out there who doesn’t want to “find her tribe” welcome. You can sit with me… quietly, at opposite ends of the playground. Don't talk to me. I see you though. :) You are doing great!
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